aZLiNa sPeaKs.. tHe WoRLd LiSTeNs..

The times when hormones cannot be blamed.

So I just came back from this 4 day trip to the east

Malaysia

, and for some reason, the events that happen seemed to have thrown me into a contemplative mode with sudden bouts of emotionalism.

 

1. My job.

 

One of the customers asked me something along the lines of “What the fuck is a woman doing in this field” OK, not so crude, and definitely in more flowery language than that. More importantly, he really was just making conversation as opposed to being antagonistic.

 

But he got me thinking. What AM I doing here? It’s not cars, it’s not bikes. It’s HEAVY EQUIPMENT. Where, the tiniest of spare parts would not fit into my handbag. Where after meetings in offices, you might have to take a trip to the jungle, heels and handbags be damned. Where, if your truck gets stuck in mud, you first thank God you buy cheap heels, THEN you step in the mud and try creating fraction for the wheels to move. Where your PR skills mean nothing, where your practiced English becomes more of a hindrance than a conversation starter. Where, you being female make things uncomfortable for the men. Where, for you to be of any value, you’d have to be in the industry for at least 10 years.

 

I really am struggling to find how I can be of contribution here.

 

2. The meaning of life.

 

Whoaaa!~ I know. And yes, all religious people will have a field day explaining this to me. But really, I work the corporate ladder, I find a good man, I make good babies, I bring them up to refrain from questionable behavior until they’re at least 18, I get sick with some illness, I die. Some variations in there perhaps, but the beginning and end remain the same. So what does it matter what we do in life? And for some, heaven and hell can be answer enough why what we do in life matters, but I think this same line of questioning will still exist for me even when I’m in heaven. (Or hell, but hey, why jinx it)

PURPOSE. What’s the purpose of life? (And those reading, yes, I’ve heard about the book “Purpose driven life” and I’ve even read some parts of it. I think it’s great creative writing, and I think the guy that wrote it has enough millions in the bank for him to see his ‘purpose’ in life) Doesn’t quite help me find mine.

 

Sigh. Was my brain always this complicated?

 

3. Having a man.

 

Some (read: many) have commented that having a man in my life will magically cure me of all these questions in my head. So maybe, just maybe, the women of the yesteryears had it right. Find a man by 20, get married, and life’s great mysteries will work itself out. Oh. And don’t get a job, that only creates more questions, be a good girl and work the house (and your hubby).

 

Problem is, I don’t buy into such nonsense. (And I know those that are in love are shaking their heads and going tsk tsk on me) But really, I want a long term solution. A man, like a roller coaster ride, provides temporary distractions. After the 6 month deadline (some even 3 months or less), life’s reality and queries come crashing back. Going on and searching for another distraction is how I’ve been living life, and I probably would continue doing so after this bout of confusion passes by.

 

But right now I worry, 5 years down the road, when my little distractions don’t work anymore, I’ll be having the same issues, and an added flavor: I’ll be 30 and still confused.

 

Maybe life is meant to be this way, who knows. If I’m 30 and still confused, I’ll just take up some dangerous sport to keep the adrenaline pumping and the questions subdued.

 

Cheerios y’all. Hope the mood is not infectious.

The itch that I (try to) scratch- once a year

This time it was to Phuket! For New Years!

 

Day 1 (27 Dec 07)

Blindly stepped out of the hotel and groped around for things to do. Found them (the things to do). The usual KL stuff on a Saturday night, except it was in a completely different language that made no sense. At one point DJ said something and we went ‘Wohoooooo’… and the guy next to me says “DJ said those of you who are heartbroken raise your hands”.. Now ain’t that sad.. A bunch of people traveling together, all heartbroken! Hahahaha

Phiang na kroop, sian no no phriii…!!!

 

Day 2- Bad corals, great people

Phi-

 

phi

 

Island

Decided to fulfill our roles as tourists and visited Phi Phi island. Funnily enough the day was awesome not because of the place we went to, but the people we met:

 

Marla- the British pilot suffering a mid life crisis and dealing with it in style (6 months off work and traveling around the world)

 

Sam- the Aussie 21 year old who (thankfully) does NOT sleep with sheeps, traveling for 5 weeks around S.E Asia

 

Sebastian- The French cum Asian wannabe who swam with the sharks

 

And a woman from

Bangkok

, staunch supporter of Thaksin and recommender for good seafood for dinner.

 

And then we got conned 600 Baht while getting there.

Why take pictures if you’re not gonna share em?? Hahahaha ~ runaway model wannabe

 

Day 3- New year’s eve!

 

Beach. Sand. Fireworks. Crazy people. Near- death misses. Lanterns in the sky. Friends.

 

And the kicker.. hitching a free 40 min ride to the hotel.

 

Best New year so far.

How it can go sooo wrong. We’re sitting there, chilling. And we get attacked by lit lanterns gone wayward.

Waiting for fireworks gala

 The whole stretch of beach was alight (firework + lanterns = pollution! Hahaha)

Day 4 (1 Jan 08)

I’m working tomorrow??!?? Hahahahaha.. Happy New Year y’all! Cheers to growing up!

It’s better to want something you don’t have than to have something you don’t want.

 

I think it’s a good philosophy, really. In every aspect of life. Think about it, it’s probably true in your case too.

 

1. Dating

The guy in your department that send shivers down your spine when you see him, but he doesn’t see you? The girl next door that you’ve had a crush on since you were 5 but she thinks “any girl would be lucky to have you”, just not her?

 

And then think of the times when you had men wanting you desperately, or when the girl was literally at your feet and following you around like a good little puppy. And then imagine what life will be like if you had settled, and gotten into a relationship with that person.

 

Now which feeling sux more? First or second? All my votes go for the second. Settling is never fun. Not getting something you want, well, you can just find other things (read: men) to want :p

 

2. Job

This is a lil harder to substantiate, but I’m gonna go ahead and whack only.

 

I think being in a job that you like gives you a whole lot more motivation to do better.. Although almost invariably you’d be restless for more.. A higher pay, a better promotion, a nicer boss…

 

And then there’s the case of being stuck in a job you hate. Man if that was the case for me I’d be suicidal every single day of my life. Waking up each day would be a drag, and I would be counting the seconds til it was 530 and I could leave.

 

So yeah.. in that case I’m quite ok… I want my job enough to like it, but in the same breath I want so much more from it.. More excitement, higher pay, bla bla blaa.. It’s a good place to be in when you consider the alternative.

 

3. Life

See at this point I think everyone is beginning to get the concept of what I am saying. Everyone wants more in life, that’s an OK way to go through life, makes you be a better person mostly. But the day you hate your life, and wish it wasn’t yours, I think it’s time to seriously work out an action plan to change it. Because living a life in a way that you don’t want to can possibly be the most depressing thing on earth (except if the world ran out of coffee- then it’ll be the second most depressing thing on earth after coffee extinction being first)

 

I think I’m gona go chant the topic over and over again just for fun :)

 

Of being used and being useful

It's been ages since my last post. I yearn to bitch about well, work. But I have a sneaky suspicion it'll come back and bite me in the would-be promotion i deserve hahahahahahaha.. So I'll keep it humorous instead. I'll talk about the men vs. women issues hahahahaha...

So i recently was educated about how sometimes when men give statements out of the blue, it is not because they are retarded, but they actually are implying something. Sheesssshhhh like communication with another human being is not already hard enough. Like if someone says "the Bee movie is out" it is implied that they want to watch it with you. Or if they say "there is a concert this weekend" it means you're probably invited. I dunno whether I'm just slow, but heck NO I do NOT see that as an invitation! Hahahahaha..

And I thought only women did this ridiculous communication.

Nways. I decided to put this new found theory in action. Monday morning as I was making coffee (the conventional coffee+sugar+milk mixed on ur own) I was chanting "Please be ok please be ok". Retarded, I know. Hahahahaha.. Dad thought so too, so he asked "whats up" and I innocently replied with a STATEMENT "I ran out of 3 in 1 nescafes"

I'm still waiting for the 3in1s to be bought by dearest daddy.

So I think we should all save ourselves a whole lot of trouble and just say what we want/ mean. Tomorrow I'm telling daddy I want him to buy the 3in1s for me. Living without it is wasting a good 3 minutes of precious rushing- off- to- work time.

Adios people, I'm a lil rusty in writing, I don't think I make sense hahahahahaah..

What makes you human, and what makes you BREAK?

So here's the deal : They want send us to some jungle to break into my head so that they can "build it up again". And if you think you're one of them who would never succumb to such shameless brainwashing, trust me, it's pretty easy to do.

1. Sleep

No self respecting student can graduate without having experience 3 days of no sleep, and walknig around deliriously caffeinated. You know what it does to you. If you never can imagine how a mom can shake her newborn baby to death, then you should try not sleeping for 7 days. If you've never watch the X-files series of the guys that go around killing people because they haven't slept for 38 years, go download it. Sleep is a funny thing. When you have enough, its no biggie, when you don't, it's all you think of.

2. Food

Why do you think models/ gorgeously thin people are such B.I.T.C.H.E.S? It's cus they are always hungry :) Don't agree with cannibalism? Don't eat for a month, n then go meat a friend.

3. Comfort

Like your aircond room? Your comfy bed? Your hot water shower? Your clean toilet? I do. Been to places that don't have those things? How long do you last? I lasted for 2 days in the remotest area of India before I became a complaining monster when I was nine. Salwa's SIFE project, some didn't last even for a day. But then again I survived hostel deplorable conditions for 5 loong years. Hmmm...

4. Personal space

Ever had to babysit 3 young boys who were total brats and worse still, had parents who condoned brat-ism?? Short of beating the crap out of them, there's nothing that would make them behave. And you can't do that cus, well, then your uncle would beat the crap out of you in return. After you finally get them locked in a room for bed, all you want to do is be ALONE. Any idiot dumb enough to ask you questions at that point would be a) suicidal or b) dumber than you originally thought.

5. Survival instincts

Watch the movie SAW, and you'll see the length humans would go in hurting others when it comes to their own survival. Or when it comes to protecting their loved ones. Some people tell me that they do not fear death, I think the ultimate test will be when you have a choice between your life, and some total stranger who happens to be a jerk.

Point is, the human nature is a fragile thing. Take away number 1 to 4, throw in number 5, and all you get is the worst side of human nature. I know the following week is not going to be as horrible as my exaggerated examples, but all the same, finding my worst side is not something I relish doing. Hopefully I find out that my worse is still much better than YOUR best. Muahahahahahahaha... (Stop rolling your eyes!)

Things you NEVER recover from

Me : It's pretty cool that you brought along you kids for this
Person I just met #1 : Yeah
Me : Ehh, where's your younger daugther?
P.I.J.M #1: Oh she's sleeping in the room
Me : Oh that's right, you got a maid with you
Stunned silence
P.I.J.M #1: She's my MOM.

Needless to say, that potential friendship ended pretty quick.

Tomorrow is the first day of my potential (at least) 2 and half year career. One shot to make an impression that'll last a loonggg 2 years. So wish me luck!

Things to get done:
1. Go back 3 weeks in time and NOT spend it eating like a pig
2. Cut fingernails, hair and kill that budding zit.
3. Prepare 10 cups of coffee for assured hyperness.
4. Stop blogging and instead go read up about Tractors Malaysia and Sime Darby. Maybe read a lil about Labour Day Laws and lecture em about it too.

Ta!

B is for Bangkok and Bali

Day 1- I apparently don’t look like “Pn. Noor”

 

Greeted by the tour guide, had funny borderline insulting comments passed at me, and was whisked away for a seafood dinner at Jimbaran. Later had a magician on the street amaze and wow me- in a bad way. Nothing Mr. Nyoman didn’t help solve.

 

Day 2 – Where dirty lil Asians deserve to die (as portrayed by our loving Aussies)

City girl is amazed at paddy fields

 

Highlight of the day was the volcano in Kintamani, and coffee making process.

Then came the cleansing process at temples and education on why all the gates in Bali are split in two with a wallright smack in front of it. (It’s to keep demons out, cus demons can’t turn left or right so when they go through the gates they hit a wall and give up) -Yes, demons haven’t gone through evolution for the simple act of turning, they must not want to possess us all that much eyh?

Very much a Hindu land, the Balinese people have beliefs and fears that dictate their everyday life. Each morning and evening an offering is laid out for blessings, and street vendors give “good” prices for the first and last customers for the day. Which makes us hitting the markets at sunset a good thing. Bikin pelaris yaa..

 

Day 3 – Thank God I speak Malay!

 

Cus you get special Non White prices for everything you do. So begins the tale of me flying in air.(And getting the skin on my face roasted to perfection) Then getting attacked by flapping turtles and pulling a Britney.

 

Later had lunch on a hilltop that had temperamental rain- only when I step out. The Hindu God seemed to hate me~ or blessing me. Really depends on perspective. Beautiful scenery, beautiful gardens, beautiful temple.

 

Ended the day at Tanah Lot where there was (surprise!) another temple. When the tide is high I the area where I stand should be submerged, making the temple seem to be floating.

 

Day 4- I am reminded of Cape Point

 

Made the journey to the southern tip of Bali to see the Cliffside

temple

of

Uluwatu

framed by the

Indian ocean

.. This, by far, was the most beautiful place for me in

Bali

. Most famous for its sunset view, we escaped the hordes of tourists by seeing it in the morning. 

 

 

More pictures later :) Friendster blogging is ruining my post- Bali- hyper mood.

Tips for surviving a medical check up

So I had a medical checkup today, hence my very own version of : Tips for surviving a medical check up

 

**Especially For women

 

1. Wear a sleeveless top- makes it all the more easier to take your blood pressure without having to spoil all your pretty tight clothes.

 

2. **Wear a loose fitting SKIRT- cus in private hospitals; apparently you don’t get the squat toilet. So you gotta get your urine in a cup using a sitting toilet. And to do that, you gotta spread your legs WIDE open. Either that or take off your pants. And it being Malaysia, the floors are never dry so it’s super gross to do that.

 

3. **Wear pretty underwear- it’s awkward enough to get semi naked in front of a doctor, they don’t exactly have lockers to hide your discolored, worn-out and plain ugly bras and panties. You gota hold em while the doctor pokes and prods.

 

4. Bring along an MP3 player or something to its equivalent- you want to be able to shut out the wailings and screaming of the patients who are sissies when it comes to taking blood. It’s a terrible thing to be next in line for a needle when the previous idiot made it seem like childbirth.

 

5. Do pump ups or something like that before the check up- it helps make your veins visible and the doctors would be spoilt for choice when it comes to picking the largest vein. Why small veins are bad? PAIN

 

6. Have a balance of fasting- Eat nothing and drink nothing but plain water would make your urine super healthy, but your blood pressure will be on the low side. Eat your heart out and your blood pressure would be ok but the urine would have spikes of sugar or whatever else that is not healthy.

 

7. **Know the exact date of your last menstruation- everyone from the x-ray dept to the toxilogy dept apparently have a fetish in knowing about it.

 

8. Don’t make smart assed comments- doctors are creatures with absolute no sense of humor and will look at you with murder in their eyes if you attempt to ease the awkwardness of a situation by cracking jokes. If they ask whether you’re pregnant, give an empathic NO instead of saying “I hope not”. Unless you really are pregnant of course. In which case wtf are you doing trying to get an x-ray?

 

9. Wear clothes with light materials- unless you want your record to show your weight as 2 kgs above the actual. And wear slip on sandals- its such a hassle to take off shoes for height measurement especially with the nurse looking like she would love to rip em shoes out from underneath you.

 

10. Always know the objective of your medical check up- if it’s for personal knowledge and well being, then by all means, ask as many questions and be as truthful as possible. If it’s for a goddamn employment, LIE. If it’s      something serious like cancer or TB, you’d need your future employer to foot the bill. So get as clean and as healthy record down as possible. Muahahahah…

 

That’s about it. I met 2 other people who would eventually become my colleagues, and they’re both bitching cus they had offers from IBM and MISC or whatever AFTER they signed the contract. The contract is apparently not breakable. So, in retrospect, perhaps I’d better NOT get the job from (s)hell. Hmm.

 

 

 

Interview from (s) hell and MBSA sirens blasting all night.

                                       

Looks pretty doesn’t it? I thought so too. The nightmare before wasn’t though. Mad frenzy to drive cars to higher ground and roll up carpets. Anyhow, no real damage except perhaps that really cute neighbor down the street will never want to date me, I was worse than my worst that night – ugly baju kelawar, mussed, limp hair and bloodshot eyes. I think there was a lil bit of dried up drool somewhere hahahaha. But hey, who else can say they walked around their taman in nighties??

 

End of heavy-continuous-rain drama.

Interview story.

What’s the most stressful situation you’ve encountered? What’s the most difficult situation you’ve been in? When did you feel most challenged? What was your most demanding task and how did you solve it? What project gave you most satisfaction and why? Have you worked with difficult people and how did you deal with it?

 

Yes, demanding, stressful, difficult and challenged DO NOT mean the same thing.

 

Then we talked about National Parks! Yes, NATIONAL PARKS. As in the advantages and disadvantages of national parks.

 

 

I wonder if I’ll get the job. HMmmmm..

 

Why I shouldn't read blogs

..because one person starts it.. And before you can say Iwantanicedcaramelmacchiato, you're tagged! And all the stars and moon align themselves so well you have nothingg else to blog about so you be one of "those" people (the ones that believe hoax friendster-is-closing-down msgs) and oblige. Muahahaha..

 

RULES: People who are tagged should write a blog post of 6 weird things about them as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says 'you are tagged' in their comments and tell them to read your blog.

1. When I'm really stressed from the heat, I draw a circle on my porch, hold a lighter and make owl noises while dancing and singing to call for the rain. Always works. People say it's my abysmal voice quality that makes the higher powers oblige.

2. Everytime I see a frog, I kiss it. Sometimes I get it wrong and kiss a toad instead, yuck! All in the name of finding true love. Sigh.

 

3. Remember the Truman show?? I believe ever since they busted that one up, they are now doing the Azlina show. I've caught them a couple of times (nothing as huge as lights falling from the sky, more like people whispering behind my back and looking at me funny.. ) They're pretty good at keeping the secret. I guess they learnt after Truman.

 

Now THAT’S what I call weird. As usual, real life is sooo by far, less entertaining :

1. My life is not worth living without coffee in the mornings. No, wait. YOUR life is not worth living if I don’t have coffee in the mornings.

2. I don't like kids, but for some weird higher-powers-are laughing-their-ass-off reasons, they (kids) cannot leave me alone when they see me. Same thing with cats. I have been banned from three (3) close friends' home because of my expressed desire to hurt children. I believe more bannings are forthcoming once I publish this.

 

3. I love the smell of petroleum.

4. I talk to myself. Constantly. I've got a factory of "little

lynns" inside my head that constantly demand attention. Try saying 'no' to something inside your head. It's easier to humour them.

5. I never have opinions. Like seriously. I’m one of those atas pagar people that annoy everyone else because they never pick sides. If you ask me to choose between two options, I’d list the pros and cons of both and make YOU decide. Apparently, that’s a sign of bad leadership. Sigh. Whatever happened to the days of leaders not doing anything but lepak all day?

6. I can't tell the difference between C class Merc or an S class. In fact, I have trouble distinguishing a Volvo, Merc, Honda and BMW in itself, much less the models. Appaling, I know. On the bright side, it used to be worse. At least I now can tell Malaysian cars apart.

I’m not even CLOSE to being weird. Damn.

Everyone who reads is considered tagged.